Not ready to leave home?

You aren't alone. While many students are chomping at the bit to get out of their childhood home, not everyone has one foot out the door. An article in today's Chronicle of Higher Education cites a study concluding that students that get along with their parents are less likely to go to a four year college. More later!

Help, we can't agree on a college!

Throughout the country, seniors have received their admission letters and, often, decided on a college. While most have already selected the school they will attend, a few are still making their decision. Often times, there is a disagreement between parents and students on the final decision. Both parties feel stressed about the decision, but both have their own opinion. What can you do to resolve this disagreement?
First of all, rest assured, it is quite common. Most families find that the disagreement has roots in one of the three following areas: 1. Financial. 2. Location 3. Prestige. These critical factors become the albatross that parents and students can not navigate around. What can you do to resolve this and keep your relationship in tact? Here are a few places to start. . .

In the area of financial differences between two schools, this difference is often a key component. Some parents feel that there is no reason to select the more expensive school. This is not bad logic but, as a student, you should know if this is their primary concern, and make your case accordingly (more later). Some parents truly can not see how they can afford the more expensive school. As young adults, the students need to look at this from an adult perspective and decide if they can understand this position and a) go along or b) find alternative sources of funding that will offset the difference.

General advice: (Round 1) Make a list of why you like one school over the other. Have your parents do the same. Swap lists. Discuss.

(Round 2) Create a list that counterpoints their list (and have them do the same). Sit down with them - tempers cooled, perhaps over a night dinner at Outback, and review. See if you can understand, appreciate and listen to their position. Try to get them to do the same.

Parents need to remember that the student is the one that will be living/breathing/eating at this place for the next 4 years of your life. It will certainly chance the course of their life.

Students, at this point, you'll want to think to yourself "how far am I willing to go". Are you willing to pay for college on your own? If not, remind yourself that they are your parents and that they can sometimes be right. Then try to revisit the "lists" from above with the goal of coming to agreement. As them how far they are willing to go (are they willing to make you pay for college on your own if you don't go to the school of their choosing?). Once you both understand the positions, (again, this should be done in a MATURE, CALM conversation). Try again to come to agreement. While these are not surefire solutions, they will help facilitate a solution, minimizing the rancor and disagreement.

College Coaching

Apparently, college coaches are feeling the pressure to recruit the next class - and it isn't just the biggest, best, highest profile schools and teams that are feeling the crunch. The Chronicle of Higher Education has an article this week on just this topic.

What does this mean for students? I equate the college application and athletic recruitment process to finding a job. Those that are in charge of hiring, do it all the time. They have the experience, the knowledge, and the history to know how to negotiate, how to navigate the process, and how to get the greatest results with the least amount of output (the best employee for less money).

Now move the analogy to the college recruitment process.

Students applying for colleges only do this once. Coaches, however, do it ten to a hundred times a year (depending on the team size) and they do it every year. How can students possibly have any advantage in this process? Sure, ultimately, the decision is in the student's hands, but they have to rely on coaches to be forthright. Students can rely on parents for additional support and information, but, let's face it, most parents haven't been through this process in 20 years, if ever. Still, parents are the main support for a student being recruited by a college coach.

Some advice for students being recruited:
1. Ask lots of questions about the team. Who are the players, who is in your position, what year are they, where are they from, how long has the coaching staff been around, how many freshman play varsity, how many seniors are on the team this year? etc . . .
2. Do your research online. Google the coach. Google the team. Look at their record, check out the NCAA website for results and news. Read the college sports blogs and ezines to find out who is winning, playing, talking etc.
3. When you talk to the coach, never lie. Not about your team, your grades, your abilities, your SAT scores. Not about who is your first or second choice school. Coaches talk to one another and a lie is always in danger of coming out. Count on it.
4. Never tell a coach that they are your 2nd/3rd/4th choice school. If they aren't first, just say that you are considering them very strongly. See rule #3 if you are tempted to lie.

College Sports Recruitment

Do you want to play a college sport but you are not sure where to start? The first thing to understand is that not all college sports are created equal. To read about the multiple "divisions" of college sports - visit the student's portal on the NCAA website. This will give you an overview of the NCAA process and all of the information you'll need to know. If you are receiving phone calls from coaches, rest assured that you are qualified to play on their teams and often, the teams in their athletic conference. There is a schedule to follow and things that need to be done in order to maintain your eligibility to participate in college sports. The schedule can be found here under the link "Recruiting Overview Chart". You will also want to register with the NCAA Eligibility Center (also known as the Clearinghouse) in order to be eligible for participation. For specific advice you will want to speak with the college counselor at your high school and your high school coach.
This will give you a place to start as you think about where you can play, what kind of program you are interested in, and how to get the attention of the coach at that school.

When to start the college search?

When should you start thinking about your college search? There are so many "right" answers to this question. Ideally, thoughts of college should begin by freshman year, as you start to plan your high school curriculum. If you know that you want to go to college and you want the most options possible, you will want to consider taking the most challenging curriculum you can handle. You will also want to be involved in activities that you are excited about and interested in. You should spend your time in high school figuring out what you like to do, what you are good at, and what you have a passion for, not getting involved in meaningless club after meaningless club in order to pad your future college application. If you participate in things you enjoy, you will be working on your college search without even knowing it throughout your high school career.

With all of that in mind, your official "active" college search should begin during your sophomore or junior year. By active, I mean visiting colleges and reading about them. You'll want to give yourself this extra time so that you aren't jamming 20 school visits into a three week period between junior and senior year. Take it from me, you won't remember anything past the 4th school and neither student nor parent will appreciate one another's quirks by midway through week one of this ultimate road trip. Do some preliminary research during sophomore year so that you have an initial list of schools to visit in the year before you become a high school junior While this is the schedule I'd recommend, there are always ways to shorten, adjust, and abbreviate the process if you are getting a late start. No worries.

College sports will add a twist on this schedule, as you will read in a later post.

What is "college demystified"?

College Demystified is a mission. . . A sincere initiative to assist parents and high school students as they begin to navigate the college search, application, and admission process. This blog will serve as a resource for you as you embark on the college journey.

Questions you may have:
How many schools should I apply to?
How do I know which school(s) is/are right for me?
I want to compete in a college sport, what should I do next?
Am I being recruited to play in college?
When should I start the financial aid process?
Who should I contact at a school?
Where can I get in?